TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Your cock deserves a montage
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
