Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
