Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize