You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
