dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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