I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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