What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
