No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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