dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My ass is underappreciated
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
