So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
3pm strippers are depressing
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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