i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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