I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i now understand why vodka
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
