Are we in a gay sports bar?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
