I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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