he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There's a naked man in my car right now.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
