you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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