I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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