This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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