I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
