How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
