how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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