she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I AM VODKA MAN
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
