What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Randomize
