Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
