...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
