Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize