Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
