the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
