cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize