i just had sex bonerless
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
