can we get nightvision for the apartment?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
