I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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