but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We had sex on a dog bed..
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
