Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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