id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
