at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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