why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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