The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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