Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
