Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
