would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Randomize
