Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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