Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
