New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
they're like a gay fantastic four
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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