I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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