I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
