i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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