I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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