Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
