Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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