just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
