You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
