there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
