dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Randomize
