I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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