If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize