Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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