so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize