may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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