so explain again why im purple
no
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
