We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
