do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
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