I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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