i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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