she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
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