Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
