i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
