The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I need a burrito and a hug.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
