U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
